What would you do if your *grown* child asked your parent for a loan?

without talking to you about it first? Background: my stepdaughter is pregnant w/her 2nd child at the age of 19. She is married to the father of them both. She has yet to finish high school or get her GED. She works part-time at two fast-food establishments while he seems to land a good job for 6 months or less and then he either gets laid off or quits. They want to move into a house and needed the downpayment to rent it. They asked us in a not so direct way to borrow $ and we had decided long ago to quit bailing them out (tough love), so we told them we weren't in a position to loan them $. They need to grow up (although that doesn't appear to be happening) Then they went to my stepmom and asked for the loan, but she told them they had to call me to let me know (not to ask permission). I am very disappointed that they thought this was a good option....opinions? suggestions? what would you say to your child if it were you?